RONNIE AND TOOTSIE


(now returned to stage left)

The lady says yeah, yeah, yeah

GARRY

The man says err…should I?

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

You got a gold plated opportunity,

A copper bottom guarantee,

RONNIE

The most beautiful girl that you've ever seen

CURRANT

(to Garry)

I wwish yyou fffancied mme. (OR if Currant and Bunn are male) I wwish shshe fffancied mme)

BUNN

Do sue I

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

You're going to blow your chances

The trouble with romance is

She won't wait for ever

CURRANT

Wwon't wait for ever

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

You gotta be brave If you're going to save

Romantic endeavour

BUNN

Morantic entedour

(Garry gets up, look positive)

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

So just do it now

And then take a bow

Do it before it's too late

GARRY

The man says yeah, yeah, yeah

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

(Garry holds up both hands. Ronnie and Tootsie each give him a high five)

Hooray!

The lady will too.

GARRY

(Starts to walk across right to Millie. Millie sees him coming and grins)

The man says yeah, yeah, yeah

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

(staying stage left)

The lady will too(music continues quietly. Mr B enters stage up left and calls to Millie)

(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 11)

MR B

Millie. You are needed straight away in the geography class

(she gives wistful look to Garry and exits with Mr B stage up left. Garry looks dismal. He is comforted by Ronnie, Tootsie, Currant and Bunn)

GARRY

I hope I get another chance

RONNIE

I'm sure you will. And when you do…..

RONNIE, TOOTSIE AND CURRANT

Take it!

BUNN

Ake t….

(Ronnie, Tootsie and Currant hastily put their hands over Bunn's mouth)

GARRY

Ok, ok.

(music volume comes up. Garry sings)

The man says yeah, yeah, yeah

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

The lady will too

CURRANT

The lady will ttoo

GARRY

The man says yeah, yeah, yeah

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

The lady will too

GARRY

The man says yeah, yeah, yeah

RONNIE AND TOOTSIE

The lady will too

BUNN

The daily till woo

(music ends.

Curtains close OR blackout

_______________________________________________________________________

ACT 1 SCENE 3 SET CONSTRUCTION - THE SCHOOL HALL - 1

Personal props - Fgm - knitting

packet of powder and envelope to give to Garry

Vka - balls of wool

Fgm and Vka - stools ready off stage right

Ronnie - placard announcing time, place of set building

M Cmbt - sunglasses

Cast members - pot of paint, hammer

All cast members: tools, pieces of wood etc

Currant - large white handkerchief

Currant and Bunn - stepladder stage down left

Fgm and Vka enter stage right)

VKA

And what is going to happen next?
FGM
They're going to build the stage.

VKA

I think I'll start to take some bets

That before we turn the page

They'll make a blooming awful mess

And they'll all be

In casualty

(Ronnie enters stage left with placard advertising time and place of set building i.e. now, in school hall, all welcome, bring tools)

RONNIE

All welcome to help with building the stage and the set for our school musical. Time: right now. Place: the school hall. We need people to make tea, people to knock nails in, people to saw wood and… someone to bake a cake (Ronnie pats his stomach.

Tootsie, Millie, Garry, Mr B, Mr C, M Cmbt, Currant, Bunn, Hm and pupils walk on with tools, bits of wood, step ladder, several painted polystyrene planks which can be used in near miss visual gags, paint brushes, brush and dust pan, etc)

RONNIE (to Hm)
We've brought our grandmothers with us.

(Vka looks horrified at 'grandmothers' and indignantly mouths the word to Fgm)

They're at a bit of a loose end. Is it OK if they watch?

HM

Of course they can. (to Fgm and Vka) You're very welcome

FGM

Thank you

(Fgm and Vka sit on stools stage down right.

Fgm does some knitting. Vka helps with balls of wool)

RONNIE

We need to build something to perform our musical on.

TOOTSIE
What are we going to build?

RONNIE

I don't know

TOOTSIE

(stage down right, putting hand on Fgm's arm)

Fgm. With your help in word and song

We'll make it up as we go along

MILLIE

First, we need to get some wood and knock some nails into it.

GARRY

OK. Wood, hammer, nails.

Let's build!!!!

SONG - BUILD A STAGE

(JUKEBOX ON PAGE 1 - TRACK 12)

(music begins. All cast walk and do other movements in time to beat.

Throughout this scene the cast work on pieces of wood which eventually turn into pre prepared boxes of different sizes, strong enough to be stood on by cast and used in choreography. Hidden so far as possible, during the course of the song the individual pieces of wood go off stage and the completed boxes are brought on)

ALL CAST

(sing)

Were gonna - build a stage With a million twinkling lights

We're gonna - build a stage We're gonna work with all our might

Until we - get it done And then how proud we'll be

We're gonna - build and build for you and me.


We need a - hammer and - a hundred shiny nails

We need some - helping hands - we will never fail

We got a - lot of heart - everyone can see

We're gonna - build and build for you and me

Picasso - no you ain't

(cast observe poor painting by cast member)

Careful with that hammer

(cast member nearly hits someone with hammer)

Will you - pass the paint

(one cast member goes to pass a big tin marked paint to another cast member, trips, throws tin of paint up. It is caught by cast member)

Easy with that ladder

(Currant and Bunn climb step ladder to paint something)

We can - get it right - if we go carefully

We're gonna - build and build for you and me.

(Music fades out)

TOOTSIE

It's going well

MILLIE

Thank goodness for the Fgm. We would never have been able to do this without her magic spell.

GARRY

Not a chance.

TOOTSIE

M Cmbt, why are you wearing sunglasses?

M CMBT
I've told you. I am a star and all ze great stars wear sunglasses.

TOOTSIE

Even indoors?

M CMBT

But of course

(he walks on and bumps into set , hurts head

OR nearly falls off stage, saved by Tootsie.

Short spell of music)

MR B

(to Ronnie)

You know, Ronnie, if you want to do well at school you have to work very hard. Do you find it difficult to work? Do you have to force it? Do you have to drive yourself to work?

RONNIE

No I usually catch the bus

CURRANT

Ccatch the bbus

BUNN

Batch the cuss

CURRANT

Hhold ttight

BUNN

All pares flease

(Short spell of music

Currant pretends to drive bus with Bunn holding on to overhead strap)

MR B

(to Mr Camp)

You know, the headmistress has been looking a lot better recently, even a bit younger

MR C

Yes, it takes years off her, you know, when she puts her teeth in(short spell of music)

PLEASE GO TO PAGE 10 - left click on page number above left