And I love you


I have loved you For always

I can hear you And I love you I have loved you For always


(Music continues while elves leave Millie and go across stage right to Garry.

They form a circle holding hands round Garry. Downstage elves kneel on floor)

MILLIE (sings)

May my love rise over mountains May it fly across the dark and stormy sea

May it find you and surround you May it keep you safe and bring you home to me


I can hear you.


I can hear you


I can hear your gentle voice from far away

And I love you. Yes I love you We are together come what may

We are together come what may Come what may.

(Music stops.

Follow spot on Millie blacks out. She exits left.

Lights come up stage right on Garry and elves)


Thank you my little friends. There is the bottle I came for. I'm going to get it.

(Garry slowly prepares to go into the cave.

Unseen by Garry or the elves, WW appears behind him and waves her wand malevolently at Garry's back. Nothing happens. She peers at the wand as if something is wrong with it. She bashes it on her hand and waves it at Garry again. Still nothing happens)


What's the matter with this thing!

(Garry and elves hear her, turn round, scared. Garry fumbles with packet of powder.

Ww runs off stage)


(with packet of powder in his hand, to elves)

OK we are ready. The next time we see the Ww I will throw this powder over her and that will be the end of her.

(Effigy of Ww appears. Garry and elves see it. Garry throws powder over it. It collapses. Garry and elves dance round joyfully.

Ww enters nonchalantly cleaning her fingernails with her magic wand, whistling a happy tune. Garry and elves eventually realise her presence and bunch up together and look scared)


(in a sing song, mocking voice)

I fooled you. I fooled you. (she demonstrates effigy by picking it up and dropping it)

Now you've gone and thrown away all your magic powder. You haven't got any left. What are you going to do?


You can't harm us. I am the first born child of a first born child.


OOOOH! Now you've been sent by my sister, the Fairy godmother. So she's free from that tree…..hmmmmm……But now we're face to face, and you haven't got any of that powder left, I can do whatever I like to you

(she cackles and rubs her hands in glee)


You can't harm us. We are protected by the power of love, by the forces of good.


(in a mocking whining voice)

The power of love. The forces of good. Eugh, pass me the sick bag. What an irritating little goody two shoes you are. I bet you've got cotton socks and you're really kind and help old ladies across the road.



Well it won't help you now, because I am going to cast a lovely spell on you to turn you horrible lot into something really nice.


What's that?


(face lights up)

Slimy toads!





Now, where's my book of magic spells

(she rummages about in her dress. She pulls out a cuddly toy dog)

Hmmm, sweet little puppy? No! Dead, disgusting dog, due for dismemberment. Don't need that

(throws it away, pulls out a small packet from her dress, reads label).

Hmmm what's this…. eyes of spiders. Don't need those.

(Ww puts packet back and pulls out another, reads label) Hmm, frogs legs. I think I'll have those for my tea tonight. And very nice too, pan fired with a bit of olive oil and garlic.

(Then she pulls out from her dress a yellow pages phone book)
What have I go that for? Oh yes. The plumber. (To audience) Well I ask you, where can you get a decent plumber these days. I had a blockage in my drainpipe. Tried a magic spell. Wouldn't budge. So I called this plumber in. He sat about drinking tea for ages. Then he just went like that (she motions up and down) with his plunger thingy and there it was, fixed. Then he said he'd have to charge two hundred pounds, minimum charge, call out fee, VAT, postage and telephone calls, parts and delivery, fixtures and fittings. What a swindle. So I turned him into a dish washing machine. Comes in very handy when I have the hobgoblins round for tea.

Now where was I?

(Pulls out book of spells and walks down stage centre)

Ah yes. Here we are. Are you ready to be slimy toads? Do you want to practise? Ribbit, ribbit?

(Garry and elves look determined)

No sense of humour. OK. Here we go. Magic spell, wave wand, big flash, puff of smoke, you lot: slimy toads.

(She rubs her hands in glee, then sees Garry and elves looking determinedly at her)

You're supposed to look scared.

I told you. We are protected by the forces of good, the power of love.


Suit yourself ducky. (She reads from book of spells) Here we go.

By all the darksome evil power

That lurks in every haunted tower

By every little creepy crawly

That comes and makes you all feel poorly

Turn this bunch of sickening goodness

Into toads of slivering sliminess

(Garry and elves continue to stare at her in determined manner)

Are you ready?

(Ww struggles to raise wand, as if it were heavy).




(still struggling to raise wand)



Yes. Why?


Why what?


Why do you want to harm us.

Why is this wand suddenly so heavy? I'm not going to harm you. It's fun being a slimy toad. When your doddery old grandma goes to bed, you can be there, sitting on the pillow. One 'ribbit' from you and she'll jump higher than an olympic athlete. It's loads of fun.

Why do you want to upset people. Why do you want to do wicked things?

That's what wicked witches do. We're wicked. Its great.


You were born…….. a perfectly innocent child.


Blimey! Now he's going all philosophical on me!


Why did you become wicked? You were not born wicked. Tell me please. I really want to know.

(Music fades in with theme from 'Once upon a Time')

Well………no (she struggles again to raise wand.

One elf, goes to Garry and whispers in his ear. Garry nods to her)


(to elf)


(to WW)

Let's remind you of something.



(Music introduction. Elf sings. During first verse, three elves hold a symbolic re-enactment of Ww and Fgm as children with their mother. Ww watches and reacts as she is moved by her memories of a happy childhood)

Once upon a time

A long, long time ago

In a land far, far away.

You were a care free child

Innocent and mild

So happy every day.

Do you remember

All those years ago

Playing with your sister…and mother

They were your dearest friends

In sunshine without end

Now look at what you are

What you have become

Your darker side has won

But you can change now

Your life is in your hands

In all of us there's goodness…..and darkness

The choice is ours to take

It is not too late

To walk into the light

Let this moment shine

Once upon a time

Once upon a time

This is your chance now

And will you take it

Now and forever

(Elves and Garry are holding hands in a circle and invite Ww to join hands. She does so)

You have joined us now

The circle of our hands

The symbol of your vow

To walk into the light

You will remember

The day you changed your life

It was once upon a time

(music ends)


OK. That's it. From now on I'm going to be good.

I'm going to break my wand and do what ordinary people should.

I'll throw out all my wicked stuff from every nook and cranny.

Maybe these lovely little elves could adopt me as their granny.

(Elves cluster round her. Smiles all round.

Ww's mobile phone rings with latest trendy tone. She fishes it out from her dress)

Oh, excuse me. Hello. Who's that? Perky Plungers?

Oh yes, the dodgy plumbing firm

The one that sends you bills that make you squirm.

You what? You want your plumber back? What a nerve!

I think there's still more penance that he needs to serve.

(Garry gives her reproachful look and wags his finger)

Well alright. He stayed on a while to help me with the washing up.

He's pretty good with plates and cups.

He's learned his lesson about overcharging. I think next time there'll be a smaller margin.

I'll send him back. You're in luck

(she rings off)

Now, where have I put my magic spell book

(she pulls it out of her dress and leafs through pages)

Here we are.

Helter skelter, pipe inspector

Leak and dripping still

Teach him that the plumber's bill

For mending drains and taps and washers

Should never be so high it shocks us(She waves her wand.

Lights flash. Crashes and bangs on the drums.

A dazed plumber enters stage right in a boiler suit holding a plunger in one hand and a large spanner in the other).

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